In a puff of pink glitter, Takahata-san materialized for dinner. “Ooo, beef stew! What’s the occasion?”

Okina sipped his tea in an attempt to suppress the tension marker from popping onto his temple. “Just a feast in the hopes that you will leave us this day.”

A jaw fairly dropped in mortification. “But how can you think it, sir?? I’m only here to ensure your happiness!”

The old man stood and slammed his cup down. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE!!!”

Takahata-san nudged the older woman at his side. “Natsuei-san, don’t you think Okina-san is being unforgivably rude?? Such manners…”

“I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME!! AT LEAST LET US OUTSIDE!”

The woman stood up as well. “Or let ME out of here! I have nothing to do with any of this!”

The cheery fellow gave an exaggerated wink. “Of course, Natsuei-san. Nothing whatsoever.”

“Don’t mock me!”

“Takahata-san, you were supposed to get Aoshi and Megumi together. What are you doing here??”

He shrugged. “That silly couple? They don’t need me.” With a point of his finger, miniature Aoshi and Megumi appeared on the table, right at the point of lip-to-lip contact, set on replay. Takahata shivered. “It was quite the sight.”

“Then why are you still here?? You job is done!!”

~~

A few hours ago…

Somewhere in a dark alley, two figures with arms wrapped passionately around each other locked lips in a mad battle of sucking and tonguing. The woman pulled back, warm with exercise and panting heavily.

“Do…you think…we should help him?”

“I think he can…fend for himself,” her companion breathed, moving in for another toe-curling kiss of the century.

~~

Takahata pouted. “Aw…do you dislike me so much?”

“YES!!” both the old man and seamstress said.

*yawn* “What’s all the noise about?” Misao ambled into the room, fists rubbing her eyes.

“Whoops,” Takahata smiled. “Oh well.”

~~

“Train…we could take the train!” the woman said, her back to a building, arms held hostage above her head.

“Mmm…perhaps.”

~~

“Jiya, who’s this?”

“An acquaintance, I’m afraid.”

“The he/she/?? man waved. “Hi~i!!”

“Huh.”

“Beef stew?”

“Okay…”

~~

“The train…the train! We’re gonna miss it!”

The couple rushed to the platform, skirting thicker crowds and slipping between larger families.

“I can’t believe you got a private box! You know, we wouldn’t be late if…”

“A~ll abo~ard?” a man bellowed.

Her companion leapt up to the ticketman. “Two here!”

“Have a pleasant trip, sir.”

~~

Resting chin on palm, Takahata observed the young girl sipping at her meal. “So tell me, Misao-chan, do you think Jiya-dear needs some romance in his life?”

The girl nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Gramps is so stupidly ga-ga over any pretty thing that happens to come his way.”

The old man fell to tears, “How could you?? Betrayed by one of my own!”

T-man gestured to the older people in the room. “Don’t you think the two of them make a handsome couple?”

“Definitely! She’s still pretty and a good age for Gramps!”

~~

They were making their way down the aisle, lips connecting and parting until they found their coach. There, they backed into the door several times before finally sliding it open and closing it on a little boy watching curiously.

They groped and slobbered and fell onto the bed. The woman cooed. The man hummed. The train rocked steadily on its steel tracks, shuddering and straining over steep hills and bridges. The couple didn’t mind a bit.

~~

“Hey…where’s Aoshi?”

Okina looked at her uneasily. “You aren’t going to faint again, are you? Honestly, Misao, a ninja should be ashamed to faint so many times. Your father would have committed seppuku.”

“WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY??”

~~

The man looked around with narrow eyes. “This isn’t another of Takahata-san’s fantasies, is it?”

“No.”

“Thank god.”

~~

“Lemme get him!!!”

Takahata—in what you could call divine intervention—stopped Misao from mauling her grandfather and thus, ruining all plans he had in helping along love in the winter of the old man’s life.

“Don’t be so hasty, fraulein.”

“THAT MAN IS NO GRANDFATHER OF MINE!!!”

“Even perverts need love, Love,” Takahata gleaned.

The older woman huffed and shot a deadly look. “I don’t know WHO you are talking about, but no love will be had while YOU’RE under this roof!”

Okina turned on the seamstress. “You mean, you don’t like me??”

She was taken aback. “Oh…I didn’t mean…”

The fairly femme man sighed. “Senior attraction…”

~~

The woman was tying her obi while the man slipped on his sandals.

“Aoshi…do you think that maybe…well…with all that’s been going on…”

“It was inevitable?”

“Well…yes.”

“I don’t know. Come. We should be there any moment now.”

~~

“What do you mean we can’t leave the house??” Misao roared.

~~

“Did you have a pleasant trip, sir?”

“Aa.”

~~

Takahata blinked at what appeared to be a case study in stupid questions. “Why, I put a ward around the house, funny girl. No one gets in, no one gets out. At least, not until these two spice things up. _They_ won’t let me help!”

Okina glared. “You’ve done quite enough, thank you. Your services are no longer required.”

There was a pounding at the shoji. “What’s going on in there?? Open up!” a familiar female voice said.

“Oh goody!” With a snap of his fingers, the screen slid open and the couple fell in.

“Aoshi-sama!”

The old man rushed to help Miss Megumi stand. “Aoshi…you look different. You have a sort of glow about you.”

“You’re strangely relaxed, Aoshi-sama!”

The man looked coldly at his company. “I am not.”

Natsuei-san came towards him. “No…they’re right. You’ve got a healthy blush to your cheekbones…this must be the doctor, Takani-dono looks to have exerted herself much.”

Takahata grinned knowingly.

“The long walk here from the train station, no doubt,” Okina said.

The doctor looked at Takahata with contempt. “Has he been causing you trouble?”

“Bursting with vivacious energy, kitten?” the lady-like man asked.

The old man nearly wept for joy. “Oh…you don’t know how we’ve suffered so! Takahata-san sent Natsuei-san and I to some cruise…but then we started getting sick…so he sent us to a valley filled with flowers like you wouldn’t imagine…and then—”

The doctor clapped delightedly. “Oh good. We’re not too late to miss the finale. Aoshi, come sit next to me.”

More than one jaw dropped. “Who’s side are you on??” Misao screamed.

“Well, I’m on whoever’s side is not Okina’s and in this case, it’s with Takahata-san.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” the man declared. “I’m all _for_ Okina-san finding love!”

“Precisely. Work your magic!”